


Temperantia

by gnostic_heretic



Series: Catholic School AU [2]
Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Dysfunctional Family, Gen, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Siblings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-23
Updated: 2017-10-23
Packaged: 2019-01-22 00:23:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,675
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12469320
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gnostic_heretic/pseuds/gnostic_heretic
Summary: And that moment they shared was enough to catch a glimpse of hope in Sophia's mind- hope that one day, despite the ways the blood running in their veins was tied to one another, despite their parents' history and all the things untold- that one day she and her siblings could finally find happiness.





	Temperantia

"Why are you always so mean, brother! I hate you!"

The loud yelling filled the house once again, no matter how big its rooms and corridors were.

 

Sophia, still on the doorstep, sighed- Natalia must be on the phone with Ivan again. In fact, she had just hang up, because before Sophia could even take her coat off, her sister was storming through the living room right in front of her, stomping her feet, biting her nails, muttering something incomprehensible. 

"Natasha, are you ok?", Sophia asked as she walked into the same room as her sister. Natalia groaned, and with a gesture so dramatic it could have belonged to a silent film, she fell back on the sofa and grabbed a pillow, leaning down and burying her face in it. 

She didn't want to talk about it- the message was coming across, loud and clear. Whatever Ivan had told her, Sophia knew he tended to be harsh; it was not that he didn't love his little sister- quite the opposite, in fact. But his words making Natalia cry was something that was becoming a little too usual- and Sophia knew that she and her brother would need to have a chat about this soon.

Ever since they were kids, Natalia always looked up to him so much. He was her big brother, her fixed point in this mayhem of a family. Something that Sophia desperately wanted to be for both of her siblings, but because of their age difference and her resemblance to their mother, it was almost as if Natalia felt intimidated by her. 

It had been that way ever since they were children; but they were not children anymore, and Natalia's unhealthy attachment to him was something that Ivan wanted, if not to totally get rid of, to turn into something somewhat less obsessive. 

It wasn't like she meant to hurt anyone, either. Mostly, she was in denial; about the nature of their family, of their relationships with each other. 

Sophia, tired after a long shift- the bones in her legs feeling like jello, decided to give up on talking to her sister for now. If she wanted to talk- if she ever wanted to have an honest, face to face talk, Natalia knew where to find her. And knew that no matter how harsh the truth, she could count on her to always be by her side. Exhausted, and hungry, she left the living room for the dining room, where the familiar scent of roast beef and potatoes was filling the air. On the long table, decorated with spotless, sparkling crystal glasses and refined silver cutlery over a clean, embroidered cloth, was set a meal for four people, that Anoushka so kindly prepared for everyone. 

However, she knew that tonight, as usual, she would eat alone. 

 

Ivan and Natalia were not born yet, but Sophia could remember all of it. 

The cold gaze of her mother, whenever after singing Sophia a goodnight lullaby, her father called her to join him in their bedroom; the way her eyes melted when she talked to the boy who took care of her rose garden.

Sophia couldn't pinpoint the moment she had realized it, but deep down, she always knew that her parents didn't love each other. For as long as she could remember, she saw the couples on television, kissing and smiling and holding hands. Whenever her father touched mom, she flinched away- an instinctive reaction, an assertion of her real feelings, before she surrendered and gave in to her husband's touch. Neither one of them smiled.

For as long as she could remember, her mother had taught her how to speak Russian, "to keep our girls' secrets from dad"; and would tell her stories about her town. About the people of the town, the mailman who only passed once a week, about her baba and her house in the countryside, a little farm with hens and a lot of cats. She told her how baba was very poor. Baba was very poor, and she sent her daughter to America, so that she could have a better life; the dark shadow in her mother's eyes had never been so strong.

And looking at her father, it was obvious, really, to anyone but a child, that the reason why her mother married him was his money. A rich man of Russian descent, but born and raised in America- millions in his bank accounts, and about thirty years older than his wife. Even when Sophia was a little girl, she remembered thinking it was so funny, that her father looked so old and her mother so young. She never talked about how they met, or about their engagement. Thinking of it, she never talked about him at all- not when he wasn't there. 

Even now that she was an adult, Sophia had never seen a picture of their wedding day. She only dared to question him once- and his answer, delivered as cold as the worst revenge, freezed her blood in her veins- but didn't really surprise her.

_ Why did you marry mom? Why did you choose her? _

_ Because Russian women are the best homemakers. _

 

But her mother showered her in love and affection, and her father spoiled her rotten, and Sophia was not unhappy with her parents. The first seven years of her life went by in a relatively calm environment, a carefully set up stage in a long-running play, where everyone was acting their part: the happy family, the loyal wife. The kind husband. The little girl, so happy in her world of toys and books, too concerned with childish matters to notice the unhappiness that made the air stagnant, rotten.

Until that day- the day her mother had started packing her bags, telling her that they were going on an adventure. Today, they were going to take a plane and meet her baba.

Excited like never before, Sophia could barely contain her joy. She had never been on a plane; she had never seen her grandmother before! And finally, she could leave the big city to see the farm, and meet the cats that kept her mom company when she was a child, just like her.

And honest in the way only children can be, she decided to say goodbye to Anoushka. The house maid, who was old but so kind, and always kept her company when her mother was busy.

 

Sophia couldn't make sense of what happened that day until many, many years later.

Her father, who usually stayed out so late to take care of his work, was now home; angry in a way she had never seen before. He ordered her to call her mom, then go to her bedroom upstairs.

But no floors or walls could have been enough to silence her father's yelling, and her mother's screams. The loud, crashing noise of something being broken. Of doors being slammed-

Sophia never got to meet her baba.

A few months later, on December 30th, Ivan was born.

 

Sophia had not given it too much thought back then, but her mother's rose garden was locked, and the young man who took care of her beautiful roses never showed up again.

One after the other, she could see the plants wither on the other side of the gate as the summer passed.

 

For the rest of her pregnancy, and after Ivan was born, Sophia's mom had grown so distant, so cold. 

Everyone around her told her it was to take care of her baby brother- but Sophia knew it was not about that. Her mother was angry, because it was her fault their plan to fly to Russia was found out. Sophia should have known, after all- that the things her mom whispered to her in Russian were secrets, girls' secrets between the two of them. 

_ No, she was not angry. _

_ She was disappointed; hurt.  _

Her mother had never looked more hurt in her life.

But the way her eyes lighted up when she looked at her son, the son she knew to be of the man she loved, gave Sophia an illusion of hope. Hope that one day, her mother could be happy.

 

A few months later, her father announced, her mother was pregnant again.

At the end of the year, Natalia was born.

 

The memories and thoughts overflowed, like a stream turned into a river turned into a flood, and it was hard to make them stop, to go back to the carefully staged play: the loving big sister, pretending to not know why their brother looks so unlike the two of them, pretending not to know why there was this tension between all of them, comforting her little sister after a dinner consumed alone.

Everything was going to be fine.

 

Taking the last bite of her cake, Sophia wondered if Natalia was really going to be alright.

Maybe now, with a full stomach and more energy, she could try to cheer her up- and she knew the way to do it.

Confident that this would work, she boiled some water, then opened the fridge to get an extra slice of cake. After a few minutes, two cups of tea in her hands and a small plastic dish with cake precariously balanced on her arm (her cleaning shifts at the café were hell on earth, but at least she had learned something from it), she walked back into the living room where her sister was, still on the sofa, looking absently at something on her phone.

"Natasha, Anoushka left some cake for us. Isn't that sweet? I made some tea, also."

For a moment, she could swear, a hint of a smile appeared on Natalia's face.

And that moment they shared was enough to catch a glimpse of hope in Sophia's mind- hope that one day, despite the ways the blood running in their veins was tied to one another, despite their parents' history and all the things untold- that one day she and her siblings could finally find happiness.

**Author's Note:**

> Hello and thanks for reading the second part of this series! This fanfiction is set in the same universe as my other work, Prudentia, and it's a focus on Sophia and her family.   
> When my boyfriend and I came up with the ideas that would eventually become this AU, the tragic relationship between these three siblings and their parents was one of the first things we defined- and despite them being secondary characters in Prudentia, they have a really complex, painful backstory that I considered worth telling on its own, since it didn't fit in very much with the more light hearted theme of the main storyline.  
> I love Ukraine so much- she is my favorite female character in all of Hetalia, and I hope I did her justice in this fanfiction!  
> Soon enough, I'll have ready the third part of this series, Fortitudo, which will bring the focus on Elizabeta and her volleyball team, going back to a more light hearted, even funny mood for the story.  
> Thank you again everyone, for your appreciation and for the overwhelming support I'm receiving!


End file.
